Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Confessions
Mae B. Yew

I've Got a Man!
June 03, 2010

The last time we spoke I was sportin’ a goose egg on my forehead (compliments of Momma). If you missed my last confession, you can find it at Momma and the Goose Egg.

Shortly after I lost my mind and blew up at Momma, I apologized because I was wrong. I don’t know how ya’ll were raised, but I was taught to never ever disrespect my momma.

Do you know what she did? Momma kissed my goose egg and said, “Baby, I’m sorry I put this thing on your beautiful face.” She hugged me real tight, and her gardenia perfume drifted over me in a loving, fragrant cloud.

That was sweet wasn’t it? Wait. There’s more. Then she said, “But if you ever speak to me like that again, I’ll knock you into tomorrow, then love on ya just like this when you come to.”

What can I say? That’s my momma.

Enough about Momma and my goose egg. Ya’ll, I’ve got a man!

When I became a Christian, I’m not sure what happened. Men of substance stopped coming near me, and losers won’t stay away from me. There are periods—long periods—when men don’t seem to even look at me. Sittin’ home on Friday and Saturday nights when I’d rather be out on dates is no fun at all! I’m just keepin’ it real, and I know there are some sisters out there who feel my pain.

But I’m not keepin’ my TV company anymore. I’m out and about, enjoyin’ my man!

I met Edward on the internet. That’s somethin’ my friend Justine can never know, or she won't let me live it down. I can hear her now. “The Bible says…” And if there isn’t an applicable scripture, she’ll probably make one up.

Don’t get me wrong. Just is my girl. She’s my best friend. She also works my last nerve because she’s so rigid when it comes to her walk with Christ. That’s a good thing, but I’m not there yet. The Lord’s workin’ on me, but He still has a whole lot of work to do.

Eddie and I had been dating a month before I told Just about him. That’s right. A whole month! See…there was a teeny, tiny problem. You’ll understand when I tell you how my conversation with her went.

She and I were hangin’ out at my place, sharin’ an Indian takeout when I finally worked up enough courage to tell her about my man.

I took a deep breath and took the plunge. “Just, I’m dating a guy named Edward.”

The fork full of chicken vindaloo and rice stopped en route to Just’s mouth. I knew what she was about to ask me. I had to keep control of the conversation. “He’s a believer.”

Just placed the fork and untouched food on her plate, eyeing me the entire time. “What exactly does he believe?”

Now, I ask you why did she have to go there? Why couldn’t she have just let that pass? Any normal person would have just said okay. But I was ready for her.

I answered with the innocence of a child, “That Jesus Christ is the Son of God, He died on the cross for our sins, He rose on the third day, and He’s now sitting on the right hand of the Father in Heaven.” Mentally, I stuck my tongue out at her.

She gave me a fake smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “The Bible says demons believe there is one God and tremble.”

Ya’ll, I could’ve hit her.

Just crossed her arms. “I know you, Mae. Stop playing with me and tell me what I want to know. Is Edward a born-again believer? Is he a Christian?” She held up a hand. “And before you go off on one of your word games again, let me define Christian for you: Christ-like or one who follows the teachings of Christ.”

I rolled my eyes at her and sucked my teeth. Was I being childish? Yes, but it felt good. “No,” I answered after a hard stare.

She exhaled a deep sigh. “Mae, you know better.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Just, the Bible says not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Eddie is a believer.” So there, Ms. The-Bible-Says!

“Mae, the Bible also asks how can two walk together except they agree?”

“Well, I don’t see anything wrong with me dating him.” My neck rolled all through that statement.

Just rested her elbows on the table. “In a relationship like yours, somebody is going to change. Either you will change, or he will.”

There’s no other way to put this, but I squirmed in my seat. Me. A… never-you-mind year-old woman. I knew where Just was goin’ with that statement. “I put boundaries in place when Eddie and I first started dating. He knows what’s what.”

“Has he respected those boundaries, or have they shifted?”

Ya’ll I experienced a heat wave that had nothing to do with Florida’s hot sun as recent encounters I’d had with Eddie flashed through my mind. I’ll admit—to you, not her—I’ve had to do some tricky maneuvering to get him out the door and keep my virtue intact.

“Mmm-hmm,” Just rapped her fingers on the table. “I thought so.”

Now, I hadn’t said a word. What was she doing all up in my thoughts?

The silence in the room grew thick, and I “felt” Just praying for me. That angered me ‘cause all I was doin’ was tryin’ to find a little piece of happiness.

I thought of a passage of scripture. I’d like to say the Lord dropped it into my Spirit, but I’d be lying. Listen up, and you’ll see why.

“Just,” I snapped, “you are always talkin’ about what the Bible says, but have you forgotten that Jesus commissioned the disciples to go out among the unbelievers and win souls?”

She shook her head. “No, Mae, I haven’t forgotten. We have the same commission, today.” She reached across the table and touched my hand. “But—and this is a big but—the Lord has not commissioned us to missionary date.”

My anger left me on an involuntary laugh. “Sometimes, I hate you.”

Her laughter joined mine. “No, you don’t.” She winked. “Girl, you know you love me.”

I started doodling on the table with my index finger. “Justine, Eddie’s so good to me. He makes me feel special. He…completes me.”

Just shot up out of her seat and leaned over the table. “He…completes…you? That's rubbish!”

She retrieved my Bible from the coffee table and began flipping the pages, all the while muttering about women being broken and hurt as a result of seeking completion from men rather than from the right source.

She brought the Bible over and placed it on the table in front of me, pointing to a scripture. “Do you see this? Colossians 2:10 says, ‘and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.’” She moved back to her chair. “Christ completes you. Not a man. When you enter a relationship, you should be two whole/complete people coming together. A man complements you. He...does...” Her hand smacked the table. “You got that? Don’t you ever let me hear you say that again.”

Good grief! “Alright already. Christ completes me. My man does not complete me.”

“Mae, I want you to be happy,” Just said. “You need to count up the cost.”

“I am happy…with Eddie.”

Just blew a gust of air out through her nose. “Girl, you need to drop that man like he’s hot.”

I looked at her like she had two heads. “You need to take your complete self on home and look at your TV by yourself while I go on a date tonight with my man.”

Just laughed at me and shook her head.

Now, you understand why I put off telling Justine about Edward.

What’s your opinion? Should I drop Eddie like he’s hot, or should I keep my man?

I’d love to hear from you.

Until next time…

Written by Toni V. Lee