Toss the Paint Brush!

Don’t paint people with the paint brush you’ve been handed.

It’s very easy to go with the flow but doing so can cause us to miss out on some great relationships.

I walked into a situation that had existed for years.  No one really understood why things were the way they were, but they noted it, accepted it, and went with the flow:  disregarding, ignoring, disrespecting, sidelining, etc. 

I questioned the situation internally and observed, observed, observed.  That wasn’t how I was “raised” spiritually so I just couldn’t feel at ease with the whole thing.  Eventually, it reached the magnitude of becoming a burden. 

In small ways, I started trying to reach out and be more inclusive.  That’s not really all that important in the whole scheme of things.  The most important and productive thing I did was to pray.

I sat in my office one morning praying about the situation and a wave of deep pain and sorrow swept over me.  Uncontrollable gut-wrenching sobs began to flow.  It wasn’t my pain and sorrow.  It belonged to the person I was lifting up in prayer. Then, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that there was a narrative different from the one being told and inferred about the person.

I’m so glad I pushed past the status quo and whole-heartedly embraced this individual.  Their down-to-earth goodness has been a tremendous blessing to me.  Many times, when I am having a valley moment, a phone call from them—which always includes laughter—lifts me up. 

If I’d taken the paint brush handed to me when I walked into that situation and just added another coat to the individual, I would’ve missed out on a great friendship.


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